


Leave Me

by pannacottafugo



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Divorce, Unrequited, Unrequited Love, brief talk of soulmates, idk pls just read it, um
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-18 13:55:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28744341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pannacottafugo/pseuds/pannacottafugo
Summary: He doesn't want to stay, but does so. You don't want him to go, but make him.
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Reader
Kudos: 15





	Leave Me

**Author's Note:**

> i love writing oikawa angst good morning hey hi  
> reposted from my old tumblr.

“Do you believe in soulmates?”

It's a pause that reminds you of a stagnant, still lake; Tooru’s face is completely still and you can see the gears mentally turning as he slowly sits back down. His answer is slow, carefully calculated, and seemingly perfect. just like his sets.

“I… well, I don’t believe that we’re destined for one specific person….but I _do_ think there is someone out there who just clicks immediately, like us. It wasn’t _supposed_ to happen, for lack of better words, but…it did and it turned into something beautiful.” He doesn’t add that all things come to an end- like _this_ did.

You nod; his answer still hasn’t changed from all those years ago. As expected, of course, but it’s still a bitter pill to swallow. “And you don’t think we’re meant to be.”

“I don’t.” A brief pause, in which he fiddles with his hands uncomfortably. His fingers brush over the spot where a band of silver used to sit, making you wonder if he is trying to will it back into existence just for this conversation. It wouldn't have been the first time, you know _that_. “What about you?”

“What _about_ me? Do I believe in us or in soulmates?”

“Both, I guess.”

Your smile is sad; the question dredges up enough painful memories to take all happiness away from it entirely. “My answers haven’t changed a bit, Tooru. You know that.”

“Oh.” hHis hands drop, as if he’s forcing himself to stop touching the place where his wedding ring used to be. “I'm sorry. I really am.”

“Don’t be. I don’t blame you.”

“ _I_ blame me, though.” 

You know he’s going to ask if he should stay- for your sake, the same way he stayed all those years. You’re done with that, though. You're done with love saturated with pity.

“And I told you there’s no reason to. Now go live your life, you deserve that much at least.”

It’s painful, of course— heart-wrenchingly so —to watch him leave again. It doesn’t help in the slightest that it’s _you_ who’s pushing him away this time; but _why_ does it hurt? You’ve thought and thought about this decision for months now, turning the thought over when the bed felt too empty to go to sleep- empty in spite of the fact that he was _right there_. You’ve weighed the ups and downs of it- and the result was that it would cause no damage other than emotional.

_But the emotional damage has always been there, hasn’t it?_

You’re not sure what it is about Tooru that just attracts a hopeless romance. Not for _him_ of course; his bad luck is nonexistent outside volleyball. Honestly, you’re surprised the relationship lasted for the time that it did- especially with the part of you that had always suspected that it would end badly for you.

And… it looks like you were right. 

You can’t tell when the spark really faded; when Tooru himself realized that it was gone- you can’t help but wonder if it was before he proposed or not. You’re not sure if you can handle the truth though, you don’t want to _know_ that the love of your life married you out of pity.

Ignorance is bliss, someone had said once, and it looks like they were right. When you hadn’t known about this entire mess, life had been so simple. So happy. 

It’s the want to stay as ignorant as possible that lets Tooru leave without having to say a single word. As he walks out of the door, you’re not sure if you’re imagining him walking the _slightest_ bit taller than he had when he arrived. 

It’s a measly comfort, knowing that at least he’s happy with it. It’s an ever so slightly bigger one to know that you’ll never need to know the truths about how far his love went.


End file.
